Singing With the Trees

Finding my voice as a new forest therapy guide

I was wandering around my local park trying to commune with the trees, an activity that was meant to mark the beginning of my forest therapy guide training with the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy. Why did it feel so difficult just being outside? Prior to signing up for this certification, I’d had no difficulty at all with just being in nature. Mind you, while I had always felt deeply connected to my surroundings, I’d never spoken to plants. Yet, something had changed this past summer, and now I barely recognized where I was in a public space I had always considered my backyard. Instead, everywhere I looked I saw only poison ivy. Everything felt closed off, even the park.

I was grieving the sudden loss of my dear friend and adventure mentor, Felipe, who had died while hiking solo in the Alps, and I no longer trusted myself to be alone in nature, let alone guide groups. I found it hard to even look at plants, let alone find beauty where I had always seen it. How was I ever going to get through an intense course in which fellow coursemates were talking about playing musical instruments in the woods and making nature altars? I was in the wrong place it seemed.

As I pondered the shame I felt, I began walking furiously in circles, talking to myself as if nobody were listening. Who would help me now? At some point, without even noticing it, I started to sing softly. The words that rang out of me were simple: “I love you.” At first, I sang to no one in particular, as if echoing a distant response. Then, my pace slowed down very suddenly, and I began singing to each tree and plant I passed in the black oak savannah of what is called High Park. Eventually, I found myself sitting in my old “sit spot” under a young oak tree. Quite by chance, I pulled out from my pocket a crumpled scroll I had been walking around with, unopened, for weeks. The words written needed no explanation:

Acceptance:
We’ve been tamed to be judgmental of ourselves and the world around us.
What would it be likes, just for this moment, to say “I love you” to everything, just as it is?

Since then, I haven’t been able to stop myself from singing every time I set foot outside. I have always admired outdoor guides, with their encyclopedic knowledge of animal calls and campfire songs, but I had never found my own voice in nature. Now, I find myself calling the group I’m leading back together with song during our forest bathing walks and even on Zoom. I’m still surprised when people join me in singing and later mention that they didn’t know I could sing. I’m not sure I knew how much I’d been yearning to sing.

My favourite song to sing at the moment is Breathe Me In by Mackenzie Myers. As spring approaches, perhaps it will inspire you to join the birds in welcoming the new day with song. As I step into being a forest bathing guide, I continue to seek out opportunities to listen to the natural world and find openings to share my voice as part of nature. I hope that we might sing together too!

In loving memory of our friend Felipe. Felipe was always the first one of our little hiking group to reach the top of any mountain. That day, when we had all finally caught up to him, huffing and puffing, he was quietly sitting there by himself. We asked him what he was doing. We’ll always remember his answer: “Einfach da sein.” Simply being there.

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